Just one. [WARNING: emo entry]

I was talking to a friend today and s/he reminded me of something I said once when I was really upset n out of it. I have no excuse for what I said and I was rash but I can't apologize for something I meant, even in that state. So I thought... how out of character that was of me and at first I felt pretty lousy for being so difficult and mean but is that how I'm going to remembered by? How bout all the other times? Don't they count?

Are we remembered by a single lousy moment?

I don't think I could live like that. I can't. I could talk myself into thinking I could but knowing that and being human would mean I'm gonna lose it once in awhile.

I wonder, am I really far away from the little insecure girl who kept complaining she had no friends?
Have I moved away from the violent, insolent, unpredictable, unreasonable, trouble lovin girl I saw myself as?
Have I changed at all?
Was I that bad?

I can't read my own face so I can't say for sure.

I, I, I, I... that's right... all I think about these days is myself.
I admit, it's selfish, it's loser...
but you know what...
while there are a number of people who I know will never dissapoint me...
I know I'll never let myself down.

I'm playing it safe. aren't we all?